[pressgang] Quote of the Day, August 7, 2020

[Kevin Nauta]

Colin: Why did you set me up?

Cindy: My name is Cindy, by the way.

Colin: You set me up, Cindy. Why? Did I sell you one of those hair dryers? Hey,look, one lousy house burns down…

Cindy:  Ididn't buy a hair dryer. They were the ones with the electrical fault. Right?

Colin: What if they were? I put a warning on the box, didn't I? “Wear rubber”.

Cindy:  Iloved the story about the pings. I mean, selling defective half ping pong ballsat profit. Amazing…

Colin: You tried to get Malcolm Bullivant to do me over. Why? Did I sell youthe alligator boots? Look, I can get you two left ones.

Cindy: Malcolm was just someone I was annoying. He kind of threatened me, so Itold him my brother would bash him. And I told him you were my brother.

Colin: Why?

Cindy: You know my favourite story? The one where you go to Warner Edison'sfuneral in a pink rabbit suit!

Colin: Why me, Cindy? Haven't you got a brother of your own you can get beatenup?

Cindy: He defected.

Colin: What?

Cindy: He went to Russia. And I couldn't go to my dad, because he’s dead.

Colin: Dead?

Cindy: Yeah.

Colin: Not defected?

Cindy: He fell two thousand feet from a helicopter. It was very sudden. Can Ihave a cake?

Colin: You're one weird kid, Cindy. You're even weirder than my real sister is,and she had a brace put on her teeth 'cause she thought it'd improve herappearance. Funny thing, it did.

Cindy:  Iwant one of the ones with all the cream on top.

Colin: Why me, Cindy?

Cindy: Because I think you're brilliant. Can I have a cake?

Colin: Buy one.

Cindy:  Idon't have any money. I spent it on your coffee.

Colin:  Imust be getting soft. Here, sign this I.O.U slip. Ah, address and phone numberon the back.

 

He gets up and walks over to thecounter. Cindy looks at the slip and smiles.

 

Czar:  Bythe way, those buns you sold us… The ones you said couldn’t go stale.

Colin: Yeah?

Czar: They were stale when they arrived.

Colin: Well?

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